Big Syd closing in on sleep

November 28, 2003|by BIG SYD

The turkey's been picked over, the pumpkin pie is on ice and soon, I will be, too.

Yes folks, my football season is quickly coming to a close. If I'm reading the stars correctly, I should have one more installment of bulletin board material to write next week.

Of course, all but one of the local high school teams are finished playing, so nobody's exactly scrambling to find the thumb tacks to post this in the locker room.

At any rate, it's almost time for me to star in my version of "The Big Sleep." That's when I flip the channel to "E!" to watch the True Hollywood Story of The Notorious B.I.G. (though I have been called notorious in the past I never pursued a lawsuit) and settle in for a long winter's nap.


Of course, those late-night shows are always followed by the incredibly entertaining infomercials, for which I am a notoriously B.I.G. S.U.C.K.E.R.

Believe me, though, it's all very useful stuff. I used the Miracle Blade III to carve up my Thanksgiving turkey, which I cooked in my Showtime Rotisserie and BBQ.

I did have company over for dinner this year, so I broke out the Avacor Hair Care for Men kit to get myself looking nice. It's a lot better than the Straight to the Maxx hair straightener, as I do have naturally curly hair.

And after dinner, I slumped in my chair watching football, enjoying my Air-O-Sage Leg Massager while propping up my feet on the classic Thighmaster and listening to my 14-CD Sounds Of The 70s collection.

As you might guess, I'm hoping to be asleep long before the infomercials start. Those things can be dangerous to someone with no self-control.

Even so, it'll be a short nap. I'm scheduled to close on a piece of land I bought from Erik Estrada just before Christmas.

On with the predictions. Last week 6-4 (.600), season 210-58 (.783).


Martinsburg 37, Cabell Midland 13: Dogs extend my contract by one more week.


Maryland 31, Wake Forest 14: No sleeping at the wheel for the Terps.

West Virginia 41, Temple 17: Mountanieers show Temple hoo's boss.


Ravens 27, 49ers 20: You're darn Wright I'm taking the Ravens.

Redskins 30, Saints 18: The 'Skins ain't tainted by a loss to the Saints.

Bengals 19, Steelers 13: It's no longer stealing when the Bengals win.

Eagles 23, Panthers 17: The Eagles have landed on top of the NFC.

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