Big Sydney - Stardate 8-29, Hold on to your helmets, we're here

August 29, 2003

Greetings, fellow Earthlings.

I know that sounds strange, but trust me, there was a time a few months ago I didn't think I'd be saying that.

That's right, folks. I could have sworn back in January that the end was near. And no, I'm not trying to say that the steady diet of hot dogs and brats that ingest this time of year had finally caught up with me.

No, I'm talking apocalypse here. Sports Illustrated - that other magazine that I read for the articles - has its sign of the apocalypse every week, right?


Didn't you notice that those signs of the apocalypse were appearing fast and furious at the end of the football season last year?

Sure, SI didn't publish them all. But any football fan knows the signs that the globe is about to spin off of its axis.

South Hagerstown gets a spot in the playoffs. (creak creak!)

Maryland wins a bowl game. (wobble)

Ohio State wins the national championship. (screeeeeeech!)

The Tampa Bay Bucs win the Super Bowl. (CRAAAASSSSHHHH!)

All that was enough to send me out shopping for batteries, blankets, bottled water and as many cans of Spam as I could round up.

I holed up in the bunker, convinced I was in for a much longer off-season hibernation than normal.

Two weeks later, when the batteries died after an extended shadow puppet show and the Spam had run its course ... and yes, there is a double meaning there ... I poked my head outside and saw that the world had not ended.

So, knowing that, I ducked back into the bunker and slept until Tuesday. I awoke refreshed and ready to write, then had the daylights scared out of me again when a nasty thunderstorm rolled through Dargan.

Thankfully, none of the 40-foot tall pines that surround the Sydney complex fell on or near the satellite dish. That would have been a scary thought, but not quite as scary as the idea of Ohio State and Tampa Bay winning titles again.

Now that my heart rate has settled and the cupboards have been replenished (no Spam, though), I'm ready to get started on my 33rd year of pigskin prognostication for this fine publication.

But I'll be honest with you. I only read this one for the pictures.

On with the predictions. Last season 207-71-1 (.744)


Berkeley Springs 33, Bishop Walsh 13: The Indians won't miss a beat if they can connect with Rockwell.

Martinsburg 45, Hedgesville 21: There aren't many tricks these old 'Dogs haven't been taught.

Hampshire 20, Jefferson 15: Tucker gets nipped in his first game as Cougars' coach.

Musselman 27, Sherando 17: It's got to warm coach Price's cockles to see his Musselmen are alive-alive oh.

Park View 21, Chambersburg 13: You would think a Friday night with a Park View would make for a great time.

Carlisle 34, Greencastle-Antrim 14: Not many know Rick, Kitty and Belinda can play football this well.

Middletown 41, Waynesboro 12: Middletown is like the end of the earth to Waynesboro.


James Buchanan 36, York Tech 8: The Rockets shuttle into York where a win is NASA-sary.


West Virginia 31, Wisconsin 27: Mountaineers impress Wisconsin so, the Badgers are heard saying "Che(ese) Whiz."

Penn State 44, Temple 24: Nittany Lions knock the Owls cold and then take their Temple-ture.

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