A column in Haiku for you

October 31, 2002|by DAN KAUFFMAN

(Columnist's Note: One of my favorite columns to read on a week-to-week basis is Gregg Easterbrook's Tuesday "TMQ" - short for Tuesday Morning Quarterback - on Page 2. I highly suggest it to any NFL fan. One of TMQ's trademarks is reader's responses, done in haiku. I'm steal-uh, borrowing the idea.)

Let's see ... "Hagerstown

Gridiron Championship

Classic?" In English?

Shane Matthews. Danny

Wuerffel. Patrick Ramsey. Back

to Shane. You dizzy?

Emmitt gets record,

but Jim Brown is the greatest.


(No, not THAT Jim Brown ...)

Big Sydney laughing

really hard. Saw 3-and-9

record by ... you know ...

Fighting Irish third

in BCS; Willingham

miracle worker.

Giants lose Game 7.

Bonds takes the blame? Think again.

Barry was awesome.

I'll tell my grandkids

how Angels won Series

by monkey-ing around.

Doctors find a cure

for insomnia; four-hour

World Series ballgames.

Jordan embarassed

in Wizards' opening game.

Celtics should beware.

Piniella a Ray.

Thought Tanyan Sturtze was island

getaway. Lou wrong.

Jordan as sixth-man?

Give him one week before he

starts. It's a sure thing.

Rick Fox suspended.

More time with wife Vanessa.

This is a bad thing?!

Byrd wins golf tourney,

helped by bounce off fiancee.

Love really does hurt.

Feel bad for Seiji.

Hirai holds record for name

in most bad headlines.

Roy Jones Jr. wants

heavyweight gold. Note to Roy:

Lennox the real champ.

Al Ditzel says bye;

I had to mention him 'cause

it will drive him nuts.

Sacramento wants

NBA title. Too bad.

Shaq kings Kings again.

(Every year, pundits

pick L.A. to fall off throne.

Will they ever learn?)

Nicknames all the rage.

A-Rod. I-Rod. Join the crowd.

I have: I'm D-Man.

Next time:

D-Man does "Who will finish 1-2 in the BCS" in iambic pentameter!

Dan Kauffman is a staff writer for The Herald-Mail. His column appears every other Thursday. He can be reached at 301-733-5131, ext. 2311, or by e-mail at

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