Letters to the editor for 8/19

August 19, 2002

Rice cakes foster old age: Yuk to both

To the editor:

What's the point of dieting anyway? Incidentally, my idea of dieting is to use small utensils. I once ate a porterhouse steak with a cocktail fork. If you think that was tough, try having a bowl of won-ton soup with a salad fork. A report this week in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) said that if we reduced our dietary fat intake to meet federal recommendations, the average life expectancy would increase by three to four months. That's an awful lot of dry disgusting rice cakes.

My dietitian used to tell me I was eating rice cakes the wrong way because I slathered cream cheese over them. "You're supposed to eat them plain," he insisted. "Ghandi wouldn't eat them plain," I said. The kicker is, these three extra months come at the end of your life, they call that living? You've got no hair, you're impotent, you get wheeled around and left sitting in the sum like a duck, and you're getting three more months?


I don't want three more minutes at the end. I want three months tacked onto my junior year in college, when I could have done something useful with them, like driving around naked.

By the way, the JAMA study said that in the best case scenario with all Americans reducing their fat intake to the proper level, we'll get about 60 million years of additional life. Talk about idiotic statistics that no one can relate to. It's like saying how old George Burns was in dog years!

Talk to me in terms I can understand. Don't give me aggregate life spans or everyone who starts eating low cholesterol, low sugar, low salt, no-taste foods, like I-Can't-Believe-It's not cauliflower. Talk to me about what it does for me at my pool now, when I need it.

You want to make a deal on life span? I'll trade you three months to get rid of this back hair, and ear hair that has come upon me in mid-life like the very blanket of death. I'm becoming furry. I feel like one morning I'm going to wake up and start eating my meals from a dish on the floor.

Of course, by then I'll be 2,039 years old in dog years. God only knows how much I'll weigh in dog pounds.

Peggy Reynolds


Paper had no salute for 'Sergeant Fury'

To the editor:

I hope this letter will be in your "letters" section. My question is this: Why was there no mention of the Greaseman concert at the Clarion this past Friday, August 9?

If there was and I somehow missed it (doubtful), please disregard! If not... I noticed someone paid to advertise the coming event and let Hagerstown know something good was finally coming to town.

(It was a back page, large, expensive block ads.) But after the sold-out show, no mention in the paper? No pictures, fans comments, anything? In case some other fans or readers of this column care - the Greaseman was awesome!

The show was great and the man himself was more personable than I could have ever hoped for. He stayed after the show into the a.m. to talk to, sign for, photograph with each and every fan who stayed. The Clarion had more than a full house for the show and no one wanted it to end.

Maybe, just maybe. a few inches of your paper could have been used to inform Hagerstown of what a wonderful time it was, instead of stories about pigs, cows, and the news flash that we are facing a drought.

Greaseman is one of the most talented people we could hope to see visit this town. I hope he knows how his fans feel about him.

Maybe no fans work at the Herald-Mail? Hard to believe. Do you need an entertainment reporter? Thanks for the greatest show on earth, Grease!

Sharon Graves


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