New groove is music to my ears


As hard as it is to believe, ESPN SportsCenter has it all figured out.

In that hour-long, high-speed glut of information and highlights, one thing comes out - You can't be famous unless you have a nickname.

The stars go by initials: KG is Kevin Garnett and MJ is Michael Jordan.

Or maybe an alter-ego: Gary Payton is The Glove, Allen Iverson is The Answer.

If you are really noteworthy, your first name will suffice: Shaq, Kobe or Barry.

There are even the ones with the Snoop Doggy Dogg flavor, if you know what I mean: T-Mac (Tracy McGrady) and C-Webb (Chris Webber).

So what do you think? We have some sporting figures around here who might get more publicity and interest if they had a nickname of some sort attached to their identity.


There's B-Stark and T-nee for the two city basketball coaches who led their teams to the Maryland state tournament. Don't forget C-Rob working the sidelines at St. Maria Goretti.

Or K-Pow - No, not that bad Kevin Spacey alien movie - and Eare-Gho, two of the main sparkplugs in getting the Smithsburg girls basketball team to the Maryland Class 1A state final.

Then there's Joe Yur, Martinsburg's efficient quarterback who led the Bulldogs to the W.Va. Class AAA football title game. He had a lot of help from Stevie Weather - no superstition here - and Bran-Bart.

How about J-Low? Ours wears baseball caps and sanitary socks, not gravity defying evening gowns. The local J-Low is one of the top high school baseball coaches in the country at Jefferson High.

Head north and there's B-Thom, who has similar credentials at Chambersburg.

Head east and there's J-Thom, who led the Thomas Johnson basketball team to the Maryland Class 4A title game.

J-Bro just retired from Hagerstown Community College. K-Key replaced him last week. His assistants could be called Keyes Chain and he's the Keeper (of the Keyes) over the Hawks, I guess.

We are still waiting to find out what K-Pits is planning to do - play basketball at WVU or go elsewhere because of the change of coaches.

Some of the local players who are going to school because of their athletic abilities are Ash-G in golf, Rob-Curl in women's basketball, Ma-Tan and Minute Rice (he only needs 60 seconds to heat up) in basketball.

How about Carter's Pills when a certain Goretti pitcher strikes? Or Snap, VanBrakle, Pop for any time a Chambersburg fast-pitch strikeout.

Knotts' Landings for dunks and Monroe's Doctrine for 3-pointers out at St. James.

The possibilities are endless. By no means is this poking fun at anyone's names, but in this era of hip-hop culture, it adds some pizzazz.

Of course, it only works for athletes. Somehow, the styling doesn't fit sportswriters.

B-Par sounds like most of a certain writer's efforts ... and it definitely isn't his golf game. So much for fame and fortune.

Bob Parasiliti is a staff writer for The Herald-Mail. His column appears every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 301-733-5131 ext. 2310 or

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