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Weathering the storm of a breakup

July 20, 2000

Weathering the storm of a breakup



While there is no blueprint for remaining friends when a relationship heads south, here are some tips for giving it a try.

HEIGHT="6" ALT="* "> Be mindful of the other person. Leslie Parrott, author of "Relationships: Making Bad Relationships Better and Good Relationships Great," says it's important to realize both people are hurting.

HEIGHT="6" ALT="* "> Make sure you are clear about what you want. Parrott says people sometimes sacrifice some of what they want to cushion the blow to their significant other. Make sure the other person understands you don't want to be romantically involved any more.

HEIGHT="6" ALT="* "> It takes time for any friendship to work. "Don't shut the door forever, but do set a boundary for now," Parrott says.

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Most importantly, be mindful of the kind of friendship that existed before romance ignited. The stronger those bonds are, the better chance of rebuilding them post-relationship.

"I think it's very rare," Parrott says of remaining friends. But she adds that if there was a strong foundation before, there's no reason it can't be rebuilt - if both people are committed to making it work.

"It's a treasure, and keep as many of those friendships as you can."

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