Dear Katy: How long does it take to get over a relationship?

April 14, 2000

I'm 18, and my boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. We were together for almost two years. I know that being apart is the best thing for both of us, but I'm still having a really hard time. I've cried about it a lot, and I'm wondering if that means we might have made a mistake. I miss him a lot, and I'm beginning to think I might never get over this. How long does it take to get over someone?

- Solitary Soul

Dear Solitary Soul,

There is no set time to get over someone. Everyone does it in their own time.

Your time just hasn't come yet.

Relationships are hard, and breakups are harder. The fact that you were with your boyfriend for two years probably has a lot to do with why you're having a hard time letting go. Two years is a big part of your life, especially when you're only 18.


You said that being apart is the best thing for both of you.

Don't feel that your breakup was a mistake just because you're in pain. If you stayed in a relationship that was totally wrong for you, you would end up getting hurt more in the end.

I know it must be really hard to deal with right now because it certainly must feel like part of your life is missing. When you're with someone the length of time you were with your boyfriend, you get really attached to that person. It'll take awhile to adjust to life without him around, but you eventually will.

Don't rush to get over him. You obviously had deep feelings for your boyfriend because you were together so long. Feelings that strong don't just disappear overnight.

The important thing is that you will be OK. You just need to give yourself time.

With each day that passes, you'll think of him a little less, until one day he won't cross your mind at all.

Katy Huffer is a sophomore at Hagerstown Community College. E-mail her at

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