Dear Katy: How do I keep my relationship going strong?

March 31, 2000

Dear Katy,

I think I've finally found the right guy for me. But the thing is, I've never really been in a serious relationship before. The last thing I want to do is lose my boyfriend because I'm not sure how to treat him in a relationship.

How can I keep from making a mistake that might make him want to leave me?

- Troubled

Dear Troubled,

Well, there is no surefire way to ensure that a relationship is going to last. Even if you do everything right, sometimes it just isn't enough. However, there are a few things to keep in mind if you want him to stick around.

* Don't keep him from his friends. Putting pressure on a guy to spend every waking moment with you is going to get old real quick.


The last thing a guy wants to feel is smothered. When he feels he can't breathe, he won't be able to bolt from the relationship fast enough. Give him the chance to split his time between you and his buddies.

* Don't put him on a pedestal. Even if he may seem like the greatest guy you've ever met, underneath it all he's still a normal guy.

If you worship the ground he walks on, you're putting the both of you in a weird situation. He may think he'll never measure up to person you want him to be, and you end up looking pathetic for revering his every move. He's a human being just like the rest of us.

* Don't get jealous when he's near another girl. Jealousy may be flattering to him at first, but, after a while, he'll get fed up with it. When a guy feels like he can't even look at another girl without you overreacting, he's going to get irritated fast.

He'll think you see him as a possession, and nothing freaks out guys more. Not to mention that most guys don't like a girl who is insecure, and nothing screams insecurity more than a jealous frenzy.

* Don't try to change him. You should be with your boyfriend for who he is, not who you want him to be.

The most important thing of all is to be yourself. The rest will fall into place.

Katy Huffer is a sophomore at Hagerstown Community College. Send e-mail to

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