Dear Katy: I want to get back with my ex-girlfriend. Help!

February 18, 2000

My girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago. I still really care about her, and can't seem to get her out of my mind. I'm beginning to think that maybe we never should have broken up. She was the one who ended things, but I still want to be with her. I know I'm not going to get over her, so how can I get her back?

- Broken-Hearted

Dear Broken-Hearted,

You can't get her back. Not unless she makes the decision to come back to you.

She was the one who ended the relationship, so she didn't want things between you to continue.

It's only been a few weeks since the two of you broke up, so you can't expect yourself to be totally over her. You evidently care a great deal about this girl, and feelings like that don't just vanish overnight. They take patience and a good amount of time to fade away.


Keep yourself busy and spend time with your friends. It might help to keep your mind off of what's happened. Don't stay at home and let yourself feel miserable. That's only going to make things worse. You'll never be able to move on if you do.

Try to steer clear of your ex-girlfriend. If you cross paths with her a lot, you're never going to be able to stop thinking about her. Don't call her or make plans to see her. You're only hurting yourself and making it twice as hard to get over her.

Don't fool yourself into thinking that you can win her back. She certainly terminated the relationship for a reason and doesn't want to be involved anymore.

Unless the circumstances of your breakup had to do with some kind of misunderstanding, I don't think there is any way of recovering what you had.

Your ex-girlfriend has apparently moved on, and it's time for you to do the same.

Hanging around, pining away for her isn't going to get you anywhere. There isn't anything you can do that will change the way things have worked out.

Sometimes all you can do is just let go.

You said you still really care about her. If you truly do, then you'll want her to be happy, whether or not her life still involves you.

Katy Huffer is a sophomore at Hagerstown Community College. E-mail her at

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