My boyfriend has been cheating, and my best friend knew. Should I dump them?

January 29, 2000

Dear Katy,

I just found out that my boyfriend of two years has been seeing someone behind my back. I've kind of suspected it, but my best friend finally broke down and told me that she's known about it all along. It's been happening for almost two months, and she just now told me! When I confronted my boyfriend about it, he denied it, but I know that it's true because I have proof. I don't know if I should break up with him, and I don't know whether or not I should be mad at my friend for not telling me. Help!

- Betrayed and Confused

Dear Betrayed and Confused,

Not only did this guy cheat on you, but he didn't even have the decency to tell you the truth about it. How can you even consider staying with someone who doesn't respect you enough to stay faithful and honest?


I don't see any reason for you to hang around in this relationship. It's hard to end a relationship when you still care about the person, but, in this case it's what's best for both of you.

He's obviously denying cheating on you because he doesn't want you to leave, but he's being completely unfair. Ever heard of having your cake and eating it, too?

That's what this guy is doing, and in the process he's playing you for a fool.

Don't let him have that power over you. Say goodbye and find yourself someone who will be loyal to you and your relationship.

As far as your best friend goes, you have to understand that she was in a really awkward position. She probably really wanted to tell you the truth, but she didn't want to hurt your feelings. Maybe she was even afraid that you wouldn't believe her.

Tell her that you were upset that she didn't tell you right away. If the situation would happen again - which for your sake, I hope it doesn't - she would know that you want to hear the truth, no matter how painful it is.

Don't let your friendship slip away over something so trivial. It would be a shame to lose a friend over a misunderstandings. Besides, the only thing you should lose in all this is him.

Katy Huffer is a sophomore at Hagerstown Community College

E-mail her at

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