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Some Jim Gray interviews you may have missed

November 01, 1999

In the light of NBC journalist Jim Gray's contentious interview with Pete Rose during the World Series, I got to wondering if he might have a "track record" of similar performances. After countless hours of research, here's what I found:

Jim Gray interview with Mahatma Gandhi, Sept. 24, 1947:

Gray: Mahatma, Matt, if I can call you Matt, a big congrats on independence from Britain and doing it peacefully and all, that's got to be considered one of the big world wins for nonviolence and freedom.

Gandhi: Thank you and blessings to your family.

Gray. But Matt, with all the success, isn't it time you got a new set of tableware? I must say, a wooden bowl is all well and good for those lonely peasant photo ops but nobody's going to take you seriously if you show up at a state dinner eating off a tree limb. And what's with Hindus and that cow thing? How backward is that? Admit it. After a long day don't you toss aside the bowl and the shawl and chow on a big bloody steak? You eat meat, don't you? Don't you? Hamburger, prime rib, sirloin, chuck roast, the whole deal. You make me sick, you hypocritical carnivore.

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Jim Gray interview with Mother Maybelle Carter, June 1, 1972:

Jim Gray: Mother Maybelle, you are the matriarch of one of country music's most significant and influential families...

Mother Maybelle Carter: Thank you, Jim.

Jim Gray: ...One of the most significant, influential and clearly dysfunctional families in the history of mankind. Once, just once, couldn't one of you marry someone or produce an offspring that could go for more than three months without getting tossed in the slammer? I think it's time you made a pledge to the American people to stop squeezing out kids like some trailer park Avon bottle collector. And Mother Maybelle, I have to say: An autoharp? What kind of brain-dead hick plays an autoharp? Why don't you nail a couple strands of piano wire to a washboard? Here a twang, there a twang everywhere a twang twang. If that's music, then I'm a giraffe.

Jim Gray interview with Lazarus, March 12, A.D. 30:

Jim Gray: Hey, Laz, great to be back among the land of the living, right? Ha ha.

Lazarus: I am indeed blessed.

Jim Gray: Dead, right? I did hear you say dead. Oh come on, Lazarus, just raised you from the dead? Nothing else? No demons cast out, no leprosy healed, no all-you-can-eat fish fries, no bottomless clam bakes? Hardly seems worth the effort, does it? Who do you take us for, Laz? Two millennia from now, Doug Henning will be pulling tigers out of a girl's ear and all you can do is play possum for a few hours then pop back up fit as a fiddle with the wave of the ole magic wand. Real impressed here, Laz. Not.

Jim Gray interview with Joan of Arc, May 30, 1431:

Jim Gray: Hey Joanie, hot enough for ya?

Joan of Arc: AAAAAIIIIIHHHHH!

Jim Gray: Joan, Joan, Joan, don't tell me you're going to try for the old sympathy ploy. Play on our heartstrings because of a little roasting. Joan the victim, right? Like someone put a gun to your head and made you wade head first into the Brits at Compiegne. Excuse me for not feeling your pain, to coin a phrase that won't be popular for another six centuries.

Jim Gay interview with Queen Elizabeth, April 3, 1991:

Jim Gray: You must be terribly proud of your nation's history, Your Highness.

Queen Elizabeth: Mm.

Jim Gray: But isn't it time for Britain to end this tradition of hideous inbreeding, old girl? I mean the royal family is turning into a royal twit factory, if you know what I'm saying. Churning out village idiots with Dumbo ears and crooked smiles that look like a worn-out lawn rake isn't exactly winning you any points in the court of world opinion.

Queen Elizabeth: Well, if that's the way you feel, the girls and I have decided not to talk anymore. That one was for you, Grandma Victoria!




Tim Rowland is a Herald-Mail columnist.

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