Breaking up can offer an opportunity for learning

November 07, 1998|By KATY HUFFER

There's no surefire cure for a broken heart.

The best thing to do is to let it heal on its own. After a breakup, though, the last thing you want to do is to wait.

Whether you're the dumper or the dumpee, breaking up hurts.

You can't expect to turn off your feelings right away. Give yourself time to get over it.

--cont. from lifestyle--

Making the drastic change from party of two to party of one is difficult.

No one ever said that adjusting to change was easy.

Don't hold the emotions inside. You'll never be able to put it behind you and move on if you do.

You'll probably relive the breakup over and over in your head trying to figure out why it happened.

After repeating every little detail to your friends, sometimes you still haven't figured out what you did wrong. What you need is a dose of reality. It's not all your fault. A relationship needs two people to make it work.


After you get over the initial sadness of Splitsville, you'll probably find yourself getting angry. No matter who ended the relationship, chances are you'll find someone to blame. It's normal to be tense and frustrated after a breakup.

After all, you put your heart on the line.

Like I said before, it's not a good idea to keep all the feelings locked inside. However, don't announce to the entire student body what a lousy boyfriend or girlfriend your ex was, even if it is the truth. Trying to destroy your ex's reputation will reflect badly on you.

You know the advice you always offer to your friends after they've just been dumped. Guess what? It applies to you, too.

You can live life just for you. You don't have someone to answer to or someone to please constantly. You can be yourself.

Be willing to accept the fact that things ended because it wasn't working out. Sure, you'll still think of your ex if you hear "your song" on the radio or if you pass the restaurant you went to on your first date. Eventually you'll find the images appear less and less until you hardly think of them at all.

Even if you weren't the perfect companion, you can bet your boyfriend or girlfriend made their share of mistakes. Of course it's going to be hard to get over, but once you do, you'll be glad you went through it. Relationships are learning experiences.

The most important thing is to never lose sight of who you are.

Move on with your life. The past is the past, and there is nothing you can do to change it.

Katy Huffer is a sophomore at Hagerstown Community College. Send e-mail to her at

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