"Hi Mail Call. This is to the people on Mitchell Avenue. I wish they would quit whining about the kids up there. Thank you."
"I've called Mail Call on several different occasions only to find that none of my messages are printed. This is nothing but a sound off column which we can do without. Take for instance tonight someone said please tell me why a cup of coffee is so expensive. Who cares, you know? And then happy birthday again and again and again. And beating Bill Clinton. Remember they all did it the whole way back to George Washington and probably whoever is reading this does it, too. Whatever! People in Hagerstown are obviously rednecks and chances are this won't be printed but if it is - grow up, get some education and do something with your life."
"To keep bananas good put them in a white plastic bag and put them in the crisper drawer of your refrigerator and they will keep. Even when they turn dark on the outside they will still be good."
"I have an 18 channel monitor and it's all messed up. It's computerized and I would like to know where I can take it to get it reset for Washington County Fire and Rescue? Please call 301-797-6963."
"To the person who wants to keep bananas for a week. Put them in a brown paper bag and put them in the refrigerator. They will keep for a week."
"In answer to the man who believes that DSS and his ex-wife can refuse to allow him to see his son. Well sir, they cannot do that. What you must do is to contact a lawyer here in town and he will take the case even if you cannot pay him now. You can pay later when the settlement comes through and he will go ahead and file the papers required to get them in court in order to compel her to allow you visitation rights. Visitation rights are completely separate from the requirements regarding child support even if you are not paying. That's another matter and you will see the child on whatever schedule the judge permits or orders."
"Yeah, our school systems have really gone a long ways now haven't they since they've taken prayer out of the schools? What a shame. What a shame."
"Bill Clinton apologizing for slavery is like a prostitute apologizing for giving you a social disease."
"Stick your bananas in a brown paper bag and put them in the refrigerator. They will keep."
"Yes. I'm calling in reference to the call about the watch that was found in the Martin's/WalMart parking lot. I believe I lost a watch by the Wal-Mart area in December. I'm not sure this is the watch but it was a Seiko watch with a brown band that I think was broken on the one end. I think a pin fell out. It's a round, big faced ladies watch. If this is the watch you found, please call me at 301-733-9508 and ask for Kathy. Thank you."
"Hi Mail Call. I would like to know when Washington County schools are going to hire black school teachers? Thank you."
"Hello Mail Call. I'm just calling about all the weapons that are being carried to school these days. I'm glad I went to Boonsboro High School. I think it was one of the best and most disciplined schools in the area. I'm glad that I was able to graduate in 1937. It had one of the best principals at that time. He told you what was expected and that was what you did. His name was Homer Guyton. Thanks."
"Hi Mail Call. I just wanted to let the girls at the Citicorp Daycare know that they are doing a good job of cleaning our rooms at night and I think they should get a raise with all the things that they have to clean at night. So please give them a raise. Thanks."
"Hello. I think it's totally pathetic the way that Ron Bowers all of a sudden wants to cozy up to the school board and the teachers. The only reason he's doing this is so that he can get their votes in the upcoming election. I think we have a sheep in fox's clothing here. He must think that we are stupid and that we can't see through this. Too bad Ronnie, go somewhere else. Thank you."