"There's Sheriff Mades asking for more money again. Hey sheriff, I know where you can save some bucks. Give back half of your big salary and do away with the uniform money for hats. Your deputies don't wear them anyway."
"Hi Mail Call. I just read The Morning Herald and I see where the Sheriff's Department wants more deputies, more money, more cars, more this and more that. I think it's about time there's some kind of investigation on some of these expenses. It's just going out of sight. Thank you very much."
"Yes, this is to the Democrat or whatever he is, calling in about Jack Kemp and Dan Quayle not being draft dodgers. Well, let me tell that buddy something, they might not have been draft dodgers but by God they went over in Moscow demonstrating against us when we were in Vietnam getting killed so he's probably a draft dodger, too, the guy that called this in. He's probably a draft dodger if the facts was known. He's probably a wimp that wouldn't even serve his country either, so why don't they get it straight and just shut up? Thanks."
"Yes. I'd like to comment on the instrumental music program in Washington County. Of all the commentaries that I've heard, I feel that two important facts have been overlooked. The first fact is that the taxpayers have been paying for instrumental music lessons for many, many years and these are in reality private music lessons called sectionals that have been offered from grades six through 12 in our middle schools and high schools. I agree with the parents that want their elementary children to have music lessons but I think it's only fair that they hire private music teachers and for the elementary people have to pay for these private music lessons since the taxpayers pay for music lessons for seven years. The second point that's often overlooked is that instrumental music is not for all children. It's only for a very selected, privileged few. Maybe 15 percent of the entire school enrollment. It's not like physical ed or English or science or math where all the children are given lessons but only a very few. I think this should be part of the consideration."
"I'm calling in reference to the person or persons that went along Md. 56 or Big Pool Road on the night of Feb. 21 beating up and smashing mailboxes. I just want to tell those individuals that I invite you to come on back. I do have a surprise for you the next time and please be men about it. Don't hit mailboxes that are out of sight of homes. If you're going to be men, beat up all that you can and please come on back. I've got you a nice surprise. Thanks."
"This is in response to the person whose call appeared in Wednesday evening's paper about the callers sounding as if they've been hit in the head with a hammer when they are talking or should I say trying to talk on the phone. I'd like to tell him that some of us are quite literate, some of us are quite intelligent. It's the way Mail Call edits our telephone calls that they appear in the paper so stupid sounding and I dare you to print this."
"It looks like we have a Bill Clinton mayor - tell the people what they want to hear and then do what I want to do. Mayor Bob supports the stadium but prints an article that says 'in prosperous times, the emphasis on schools was on academics rather than sports.' I believe Commissioner Wade said that also."