"I'd like to know why all these experts on the president's love life have their video tapes hidden and why they don't turn them over to the judge? I mean, these know-it-alls had to be in the room when these affairs happened or they wouldn't know so much about them right?"
"Did you Democrats receive your 1998 Bill Clinton scandal-a-day desk calendars with special emphasis on May 27 circled in red? That's a red-letter day for Bubba Clinton."
"Yes Mail Call. They want to put a four-lane drive through Edgewood Drive and they need land. Well, let them take PoFolks, Denny's, Edgewood Place condos and all up along there and they'll have plenty of room."
"Yes Mail Call. I'm tired of calling in there. Don't you print anything else there but junk? I called in there about something that would do the citizens some good and all you do is print junk in there and I want you to know I'm very disappointed in it. I called in about the gas prices in Hancock being 97 and 99 cents and in Hagerstown, it being $1.09, $1.11 and $1.15 and I was just wondering why that a place like Hancock, it's in Maryland, can sell gas so cheap and we here in Hagerstown can't drop ours? And if you want to go out of state just go over to West Virginia. You can get it over there for $1.03. Now this is amazing why you don't print anything in there about that there."
"Once a upon a time there lived a man named Bubba who drove a blue station wagon and ran people off the road wherever he went. One day he drove past a stinky paper mill on his way to an ice rink eating a peanut butter sandwich. Once there he found kids having fun so he left and drove through the park to look at the beautiful Christmas tree still up in June."
"This is to the lady who said I was defending working women and having families and that I sounded unsatisfied. Well, you are so wrong. I hold down a job and I do lots of things with my children and I also have extra things that I, myself do. I bowl, I'm in a pool league, I go out with my friends, I have a fiance and I could go on but I think you get my point. Being unsatisfied is not even in my vocabulary, thank you. And I don't think I contradicted myself saying that I won't be married to a house or my children and then saying my children mean everything to me. How sad and unsatisfied your life must be. My children are the world to me but they don't or won't ever stop me from doing the things in life that I want to do just as I would never stop them from doing the things they choose in life. That's not contradicting myself or being unsatisfied with my life. No one ever has to defend being a mother and housewife if they are satisfied in doing only that. Maybe you yourself are a little jealous of someone who can hold down a job, have kids and have a life outside of the home. Again, my life is very satisfying and full and I still won't be married to a house or my kids. I hope you find you niche in life and the fulfillment you desire."
"Building permits have to be presented in the window when remodeling and I hope you know this. Thank you. Have a nice day and happy building."
"The popularity of Bill Clinton always amazed me until I saw on television one night, a huge crowd cheering at a professional wrestling match."
"I just think Tim Rowland's article on sex scandal and the 401(k) plan is just great. We're behind that 100 percent."
"Hello, Mail Call. Boy, I've heard everything. The Republican Senate is trying to convict President Clinton for lying. That's a crock! If anyone is convicted of lying we need more proof and think of all the news media and who's going to be paying to keep them, feed them, house them and entertain them. The poor old taxpayers like me that's who."
"Hey, guess what? I just saw Bob Dole on television. He's going to join this big parade. He's coming out of the woodwork, too. God bless old Bob."
"What's wrong here? Elementary instrumental music can't be funded but 114 inmates received schooling and diplomas. How many businesses hire people with a criminal record and a diploma? Not many. Give the elementary kids something."
"I just finished reading Tim Rowland's column on the White House mess. It is priceless. Definitely one of his best. Keep up the good work."
"All this fuss about Mr. Clinton. Isn't that sad? It's a lot worse than they made over Nixon and God knows we can do well without him."