"Yes, Mail Call. I would like to see those with one brain above a milk wagon horse who throw their money at those so-called psychics have a lousy new year. Those people are probably the same kind that park themselves in front of their TV sets and watch those phony, ridiculous wrestling matches. What bothers me is if aliens from outer space should happen to interview those kind of people first, they would probably leave thinking that we are all that way. That would be the end of any chance of escaping from those lunkheads and we'd be left here to spend eternity with them as the alien visitors pull off from their last trip to the plant 'Ignorant' and never to be seen again. Thank you."
"Hello, Mail Call. The recent letter by Mr. Fix-It, Jim Wade, regarding the sewer and water debt was a sorry attempt to make us believe he could walk on water and to tell us how brave he is. If he really wants to fix it, he must bring the former sewer director from Pennsylvania and force him to answer the many unanswered questions. This will then expose Wade and the rest of the Mr. Fix-Its for their inability to control money belonging to the taxpayers. But because they will refuse to operate in the light, it will never happen. So the only alternative is that we the voters fix it by voting Jimmy Boy, Ronnie and the rest of the self-proclaimed saviors of our county out of office. Should anyone of our current Mr. Fix-Its be re-elected, we deserve what we get and should never again complain. The voters must become Mr. Fit-its and get rid of these people. Thank you."
"Hi, Mail Call. This is just a short note to the young people out there who have the nerve to come into my home when my husband and I were away visiting a relative in the hospital. They know who they are and if they ever come into my home again for a so-called party and stink up my house again, my husband and I will press charges against them if we ever catch them in our house again. They are never to step foot in my home again without our permission. Thank you, Mail Call."
"Hi, Mail Call. Has anyone seen the mail carrier in the Leitersburg area? We sure would like our mail delivered - on time."
"To the individual who felt the tiny jab in Mr. Davis' comment concerning the statistics of minorities if you don't count those who are incarcerated. The reason you didn't see any statistics regarding the white population minus those incarcerated is because the article wasn't about the white population. It was about the minority population. Thank you very much."
"It's Sunday, the Christian day of worship, and as I'm out in my back yard I hear the people coming out of church and I hear one of the lovely children calling another child a bad name. It's amazing, they must have learned nothing in church this Sunday and obviously no one thought to correct them. Let's hear it for the Christians."
"Is it considered double-dipping when a family accepts Salvation Army, Elks and other organizations' food baskets at Christmas time and then goes to Nick's for a free Christmas dinner? I wonder."