"We apologize to all our customers for late delivery on Sunday, Sept. 7 in the Orchard Hills area, the Pennsylvania Avenue, Maugans Avenue and the Spriggs Road areas. The reason was due to late receipt of papers from the Herald-Mail. Sorry for any inconvenience that this might have caused. "
"I would like to know if anyone can tell me where I can find a Barney lunch box? I'd appreciate it if they would call Mail Call and let me know."
"Hey, I don't know this Mayor Myers from Smithsburg but her citizens must think that she has great powers if they feel that she had the power to have Officer Tyler indicted on a felony charge in another state. Get real out there Smithsburg. You had a police chief who did not perform his duties and you have an officer who is accused of committing perjury. Sounds to me like Mayor Myers may be the only realistic person out there."
"Smithsburg residents, if Chief Bowers is so great, have him run for the Sheriff's Department and then we can all have him."
"Thank you Mail Call. I'd like to know why the president didn't attend Princess Diana's funeral and he sent Hillary? He didn't go to Mother Teresa's funeral, he sent Hillary. She's not the president and he was supposed to be their friend."
"I took a survey in Smithsburg and one out of every fifteen residents believe that Tommy Bowers should come back. Man, I don't know where this one guy took his survey but he must not have talked to the people that I did. As a matter of fact, the people are in their glory that this man is no longer there. I don't know what to tell this guy. Go back to school and do some math."
"I'm a Washington County teacher and I was wondering if I missed school for two weeks could I get an article written on me for three straight days in the Daily Mail?"
"A word of advice from someone who has learned a lesson the hard way. Don't ever, ever try to pull a joke over on someone and try to get even if you're not positive of what you're doing because it just might backfire on you and you end up paying for it for a long time. You never know what someone is like at first glance and you just might end up with a real basket case and end up losing your friends and family and living in fear, suspense, danger and a lot of sadness for some time. Take my word for it, it's just not worth it, I found out the hard way and just hope that I can get out of it with a little sanity left and all of my friends and associates intact and only a few minor scars."
"I know your newspaper doesn't take criticism lightly, however, I do take offense on page A3 of Saturday's newspaper of there being a huge spread on 'Imus In The Morning' being here in Hagerstown for the 135th Commemoration of the Battle of Antietam. I do have a problem though with the very small article about Mother Teresa. I would think that she would take up a little more room than 'Imus In The Morning.' Maybe your editors should see it and the next time to do a little more justice to a great woman and virtually a saint than paying homage to a well, former alcoholic and drug addict."
"I was just reading the article on page B7 of Saturday's paper about Pete Rose. It's funny, it's really funny that everybody's saying that he shouldn't be reinstated because he hasn't admitted to betting on baseball. I mean, this is funny. Keep the man out of the Hall of Fame even though he's worked that hard for it? He deserves it and you want to talk about the integrity of the game? What about Steve Howe? Half a dozen times caught with drugs and suspended. That's losing the integrity of the game, not Pete Rose."