"This is to the Yankee fan who thinks the Orioles will win the pennant this year because of one Yankee pitcher. You sound very uneducated to me. There happens to be many other talented players for the Orioles. This year anyone who knows anything about baseball should know it takes more than one player to win. It's team work and they do have one heck of a team this year including pitchers. Let's see, the Orioles have Jimmy Key and the Yankees have David Wells. We know who the smarter team is anyway."
"This is to the so-called man who finds it hard to find a good woman here in Washington County. You need to stop looking in the bars and down on Walnut Street. If you want a nice lady try the supermarket, the laundromat or maybe church."
"This is to the individual who wants a refined lady and can't find one here in Washington County. There are a lot of nice well mannered, well groomed, educated women in Washington County."
"This is to the wonder people who gave us our beautiful Quincy. You are wonderful people and you made a young girl very happy giving up your pet. He will be well taken care of and loved to pieces. As a matter of fact, he already is. I'm sorry about Tucker and I hope everything goes well with you in facing his loss. Thank you again. A very, very happy dog owner. Amanda."
"To the person who can't find a nice lady in Hagerstown. Quit going up and down Walnut Street looking and you just might find one. Know what I mean?"
"I just want to tell Thelma a Happy Mother's Day from L. W."
"To the caller complaining about Goodwill charging an arm and a leg for clothing. I think I can help you. They do it so that they can help people who can't use their arms and legs. Go hit the yard sale circuit. The Goodwill store is very impressive and worthwhile."
"I'm calling in regards to the person that put an ad in about welfare. Well, I'm nine months pregnant and I get a medical card and my husband pays the rent so if you got a problem with it, sorry about your luck."
"We, the residents of the 1000 block of Marshall Street want to thank the police department and special thanks to the officer on Friday afternoon for helping us take care of the children from Western Heights who have been fighting and carrying on and stopping the traffic so that we can't get by. We appreciate everything that you have been helping us with. Thank you again."
"I'm calling about the guy who wants women with culture and all the rest he said. Maybe if you had just a little bit of what you're looking for you wouldn't have a problem finding nice women. "
"I'm a Republican who voted for Mr. Wade, Mr. Snook and Mr. Downey. I called Mr. Wade and Mr. Snook with a very serious problem and they have never called me back. The one that I heard answered calls was Ron Bowers so I thought I'd give Ron a call. Ron returned my call within 45 minutes because he checked his answering service. What's the matter Mr. Wade and Mr. Snook? Where's the Republican party going?"
"To the guy who's looking for cultured women. I think that you need to look at a road sign somewhere. Sounds like you need to cross over the Maryland line honey. West Virginia is not part of Washington County. Check it out, you just might be surprised."
"This is to the person who called in about women in Washington County that have no culture. Maybe you should go to Frederick and other places. Maybe you're looking in the wrong places if you can't find the kind of woman you want. We're out here, believe me and I don't think we want anyone like you."