"Tiger Woods has real class. He rejects Bill Clinton."
"I heard that they were collecting tax returns at the Hagerstown Suns game on Tuesday. Sounds like Mr. Blenckstone has decided to bypass the legislation and get money directly from the people for his new stadium."
"The item in the paper regarding prayer. He or she doesn't have to go into a church to pray. I do go to church regularly but you can go into your prayer closet and pray anytime you like. You don't have to go to a church to pray but it's nice if you can."
"This is concerning nosy neighbors on High Street. I really believe that if people would mind their own business and not worry about what everyone else is doing, we wouldn't have all these problems in the world today."
"Isn't Tiger Woods the greatest? I think he's everybody's idol. I think that everybody should be a Tiger Woods wannabe."
"Does anyone know why we have so many Sherlock Holmes down in Washington in the Congress and the Senate? The ones doing the most hollering are the ones that did all the wrong through the years. Thank you very much. And Gingrich hasn't even paid his fine yet."
"Good luck Justin C. on your karate belt testing on Saturday. Hope you get it."
"I was sitting here reading about opening day for the Frederick Keys and I noticed that last year they ate like 40,000 hot dogs, 125,000 gallons of soda, 20,000 pretzels, 22,000 orders of French fries and 7,500 gallons of beer. I bet the Suns probably haven't done that the whole time they've been open. What a stadium. Hagerstown people, especially the council, they ought to take a look at a real franchise."
"That's all we need now for the Halfway Fire Company to buy the old Moose Lodge and open up a tavern and bingo hall all in one place or to open up a private club. It's really great for all the firemen to go to participate in the club and then leave and go to fight a fire."
"I'm calling to complain about the crowd that always hangs around the corner of Winter and George. The police shouldn't have to be called two or three times a night about this crowd. I think if they'd start taking some of them into custody it would break up this crowd."
"In Sunday's Herald-Mail Letters to the Editor there is a letter entitled `No Fun Allowed' about the Hagerstown park. Some of us enjoy the park and have lots of fun for the reasons that the writer is upset. We enjoy just quietly watching the fish or strolling without fear of being knocked down or watching the kids having fun on the swings, things like that. I think it's a beautiful park with lots of fun and I thank the wisdom of the town fathers for such a beautiful setting."
"Yeah, on these cigarette butts. Doesn't anybody realize that they go into our streams and rivers and muck them up? Wouldn't it be nice if cigarette smokers carried something in their pockets that they could put their butts in until they got to a proper disposal place?"
"Did you hear on Hagerstown TV Monday night that it used to take the Pony Express 10 days to deliver mail to California? It just took the new sophisticated Postal Service 21 days to deliver a letter from Hagerstown to Newport News, Va. In another example, it took a card 11 days to get from the South End of Hagerstown to the beautiful downtown section of Hagerstown. Don't you think that we should go back to the Pony Express? I just received my Modern Maturity magazine for March and April and it was mailed the last week of February. Just a few examples. I'm glad my Social Security check goes direct to the bank or I'd be starving to death."
"I think it's useless to put letters in Mail Call trying to reach these people who steal everything they see because they don't read. My car was parked at a service station after having an accident that broke out a side door glass. Somebody stole everything that was inside. My rear view mirror, my dashboard clock, two umbrellas, everything but a book that I was reading. If they would spend their spare time reading a good book instead of stealing, they'd be a lot better off. At least they wouldn't end up in jail."
"The new Smithsburg Little Sluggers season is upon us once again. I'd like to wish the Rams, who's now Phil and Jerry's, the best of luck this season. Good luck, guys. We have a lot of good hitters and players on this team and we're gonna do well this year! Go, go, go!"