"Please, I would like to know what is that awful smell around Hagerstown?"
"Every time I call about the piece of road on Md. 68 you never get a call back. That piece of road is dangerous and will ruin your car."
"Not all flowers and wreaths that disappear from grave sites are stolen as so many people would have you believe. Sure, it happens but mother nature and her 40 mph winds will strip a grave site of flowers in a heart beat. I just visited my grandfather's grave and the entire cemetery was a shambles. Flowers, wreaths, flags and other ornaments were everywhere but where they should have been. I agree, there is some vandalism but don't be so quick to blame everyone for what may be a natural occurrence on many occasions."
"I just have some food for thought to all the people who are calling in about flowers being stolen off of graves. Perhaps before they accuse everybody they should look around and make sure that they have them securely anchored so that the wind doesn't blow them away. Being someone who lives close to a cemetery, many times we have flowers and things blowing into our yard. We have no idea where they go or where to put them back. However, we do attempt to do what we can. So please be sure before you accuse someone of stealing off the graves. Make sure that you securely fasten down all of your arrangements and things."
"This is Zeek from parts unknown. This is to the person who saw the UFO. I saw it, too. In fact it beamed me up inside and oh - it was horrible. Everyone sounded and looked like Steve Irkel. Thank you for your time. Goodbye."
"I would like to know why there is no players of the week in the sports section now? They had it for volleyball and basketball and now that softball and baseball is here, which I really wanted to read about, they don't have it. Why?"
"Hey, how about those amazing Hagerstown Suns? We haven't won much yet and we're supposed to have a lot of good players. What's the matter with you Suns? Let's start winning so we can get some fan support out there."
"The Opinion page article Sunday entitled, `No Good Reason For Cheap Junk Guns,' I for one hope all criminals who take up handguns for their illegal pursuits would use a poorly made, inaccurate, unreliable, small caliber handgun lacking an inaccurate safety device that would explode in their hands when the trigger is pulled. Now you talk about redeeming qualities. I have no respect for Ruth Brown who must be a member of Sarah Brady's Anti-gun Cult Handgun Control Incorporate, whose ultimate goal is the elimination of privately owned guns in the United States."
"This is for the person who last week for the third year in a row has stolen the Yucca plants off the grave of Mr. Buhrman at the Mt. Bethel Cemetery in Foxville. Why don't you put some flowers on there for a change? You think that no one sees you but God does and you'll have to answer to him one day."
"This is for all the Jeff Gordon fans. Tell him to stop waving at all his friends in the stands and maybe he would have seen that car No. 28 that he ran into on Sunday."
"This is to the City Police. I have always held top respect and regards for the Washington County Police Department but I own some property and I called and asked if they would cruise around my house after just paying over $3,000 to have new pavement put down. It's still wet and I have yet to see a policemen around at anytime. I now have names and dates written in my concrete and still no policemen. Thank you Hagerstown City Police Department."
"Well Mail Call, I'm glad to see something positive in the paper pertaining to a person who deserves credit where credit is due and that's Trooper Poffenberger. I can see where he is respected by his peers and all the people that know him. He is a very good person and I'm glad to see someone is recognizing him."