"If you didn't vote, don't gripe."
"I'm a veteran and I have been in all the 50 states plus but nothing beats Maryland."
"I just heard that the County Commissioners are being asked to fund the 135th anniversary of the Battle of Antietam. This is ridiculous. This group of Civil War people need to fund their own celebration. The people of Washington County needs to let the County Commissioners know this. Don't fund any of this celebration."
"This is to all the people who walk their dogs on Summit Avenue and lets them do their business on the grass in front of Surrey Day Care Center. I invite you to come and sit in my living room while I open the window and let you enjoy the fresh breeze. Would you let your dog go on your lawn in front of your window? I didn't think so."
"This is directed to the people that wrote in about correctional officers. Number one, where were you guys when I had blood and urine thrown all over me? If you think it's so good to work there, all I have to say is come on down and walk a mile in my shoes and you'll find out different because the eight AIDS tests that I've had have all come up non-responsive which means they can't tell whether or not I have it and that's all from an inmate. So if you don't think we deserve a pay raise or anything, come on down and walk a mile in my shoes - if you can."
"The Congress has just told us displays of the Ten Commandments are welcome in government buildings. In the Gospel of Matthew, a young man said to Jesus that he kept all the Commandments, what else can I do? Matthew 20 ,verse 21 and I quote, `Jesus told the young man, go sell your possessions and give them to the poor. You will have treasures in Heaven' unquote. How many people in these government buildings think that just keeping the Commandments will guarantee them a place in Heaven? If they do, they're wrong. Money really is the root of all evil."
"The advantage of a pessimist - you are never disappointed if you always expect the worst."
"To Todd Snook at Valley Pet Cemetery in Williamsport. Thank you for your caring and concern Sunday evening when I called you at your home concerning the passing of my pet. You are a true friend. Thanks again."
"I would like to thank Sherry the bus driver for the County Commuter for rescuing my pocketbook. I sent her a card but I also wanted to thank her in this way also. I really, really appreciated it. Thank you again."
"I would like for someone to tell my why the cows on these farms stand in mud clear up to you know what? To think of how my poor father worked to keep our barnyard clean and believe me, you never saw the mess that they're in now."
"I think that Hagerstown would be a much better place to live if only you got rid of (1) all of the Civil War fanatics (2) all the NASCAR fans and (3) got rid of all the Baltimore Orioles fans."
"To the person that found the two medallions in the copy machine at the post office on Tuesday the 11th. They have no value. One is a 1-year chip from Alcoholics Anonymous and the other is a friendship chip from my father. Please return them to a clerk at the post office. Please, they are very dear to me."
"These NASCAR people talking about their favorite driver or car sounds like the wrestling fans talking about their favorite so-called wrestler. I think that maybe they are the same fans. Oh, by the way, I do have a good job and a very nice life, thank you."
"The definition of low-life is those who would spend their money to go to the Chippendale-style male dancers."